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7 Inch Of The Month Club
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- 7 Inch Of The Month Club was a series of twelve 7" colored records published by Fat Wreck Chords between February 2005 and January 2006, available through a paid subscription which could had been purchased via their webstore.
Subsequent black vinyl repressings do not belong to this series (nor are Club Editions).
For the 2019 edition, see 7" Of The Month Club 2019.
The joke that is spread out across the runout etchings of these 7"s is as follows:
[#1A]: A PUNK, A RABBI AND A REPUBLICAN WALK INTO A BAR...
[#1B]: THEY SEAT THEMSELVES AS FAR AWAY FROM ONE ANOTHER AS POSSIBLE...
[#2A]: THE BARTENDER ASKS THE PUNK FOR HIS ORDER, "ONE SHOT OF WHISKEY"
[#2B]: THE BARTENDER SMILES AND SAYS. "ONE SHOT OF WHISKEY COMING RIGHT UP"
[#3A]: AS THE BARTENDER WALKS BACK TO THE BAR, THE RABBI BEGINS TO CHANT A PRAYER...
[#3B]: THE PUNK ROLLS HIS EYES AND MUTTERS UNDER HIS BREATH. "SHUT UP OLD MAN"...
[#4A]: THE BARTENDER SAYS "YOU CAN'T SPEAK TO MY CUSTOMERS THAT WAY."
[#4B]: THE PUNK DOWNS HIS WHISKEY AND SAYS, "SORRY BUT THE RABBI'S A FUCKIN' DOUCHE BAG..."
[#5A]: THE REPUBLICAN SAYS TO THE BAR TENDER, "GET THAT ASSHOLE OUTTA HERE!"...
[#5B]: THE PUNK HEARS THIS AND SAYS, "I MAY BE AN ASSHOLE BUT AT LEAST I'M NOT A DOUCHE BAG"...
[#6A]: THE BARTENDER TURNS TO THE REPUBLICAN AND TELLS HIM "YOU'RE THE ASSHOLE"...
[#6B]: THEN THE BARTENDER AND THE PUNK BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE REPUBLICAN...
[#7A]: "THEN THEY KICK THE REPUBLICAN OUT OF THE BAR..."
[#7B]: THE RABBI THEN ASKS, "WHY DID YOU KICK THAT MAN OUT OF THE BAR?"
[#8A]: THE PUNK REPLIES, "CUZ HE'S A REPUBLICAN. YOU FUCKIN' DOUCHEBAG!"
[#8B]: THE BARTENDER SLAMS A BOTTLE TO THE BAR AND SAYS...
[#9A]: I TOLD YOU THAT YOU MUST RESPECT MY CUSTOMERS
[#9B]: THE PUNK REPLIES, "I DO RESPECT YOUR CUSTOMERS."
[#10A]: "I'M JUST SAYING THAT THE RABBI IS A DOUCHE BAG"
[#10B]: "OK, YOU'RE OUTTA HERE" SAYS THE BARTENDER AS HE KICKS THE PUNK
[#11A]: THE BARTENDER APOLOGIZES TO THE RABBI AND SAYS...
[#11B]: "LET ME GET YOU A DRINK ON THE HOUSE. WHAT'LL YOU HAVE ?"
[#12A]: THE RABBI REPLIES: "I'LL HAVE A VINEGAR AND WATER"
[#12B]: (no etching)
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